Why I only serve as an anonymous sperm donor.

Many potential donation recipients ask why I only donate anonymously.

I'm creating this post to help explain why, and address some of their concerns/objections.

The main reason to be anonymous-only sperm donor, is to protect oneself legally against future child support judgements levied by state government.

Unfortunately, the standing legal precedent in US courts is that a sperm donor is liable for child support payments, regardless if any circumstances such as signed agreements. 

• The donor is liable even if they sign a contract with the recipient waving parental rights.
• The donor is liable even if the recipient themselves are not seeking child support. The case is  often brought by the state government, NOT the parents.
• The only exception is if the insemination is performed by the fertility doctor in a clinic.

The legal point is that child support is the right of the child, so neither the "father"/donor, nor the mother/recipient, has standing to "sign it away", so that contract is invalid.

Because of that, until and unless US legal climate changes fully to protect known sperm donors from legal jeopardy (via federal law, or in the specific state I live in and recipient lives in), I will only ever donate anonymously.

FAQs

When I insist on anonymity, potential recipients usually pose a couple of standard objections. I would like to cover them here, with my responses.

• Objection: I am willing to sign a contract releasing you from child support obligations.
• Answer: See above legal case. The courts decided that such a contract is not enforceable (in plain English, it's legally worthless).

• Objection: I don't plan to ask you for child support! I work and can support a child!
• Answer: The legal risk is from the state child services agency, not from you. And you can't promise me 100% percent you will never need financial help from the state.

• Objection: But this is important to me to safeguard my legal parental rights and avoid custody risk from you.
• Answer: I see where you are coming from and agree that it is an important concern. Please see my suggestions for safeguarding them below in this post (short version: just be anonymous as well, so I don't know who you are). However, if you want 100% iron-clad guarantee, you will be better served by paying for services of a sperm bank, which offers legal protection to you.
• Objection: I "need" this for second-parent adoption for my spouse
• Answer: this is factually wrong. No state makes a contract a requirement, otherwise second-parent adoption of a child resulting from one-night stand or unreachable former sex partner could never happen. Every state has a process for 2PA that doesn't require contract from the sperm contributor.

Can recipients solve challenges of anonymous donation?

Is this ideal for potential recipients? No. I fully understand that, and respect any recipients who insist on known donors, and I wish them luck finding one. I can offer several ideas that should allay the concerns of potential recipients and solve the challenges presented by using an anonymous donor.

• Challenge: we are worried about being sued for parental rights later by the donor. So we need legal documents signed.
• Answer 1: First of all, these contracts are not legally enforceable in US court (read: worthless). So they won't help you anyway
• Answer 2: Choose a reliable sperm donor, with a history of donation and references. If they have done it before, there is evidence they won't change their mind later and demand rights. Also, if possible, consider a donor who are raising their own children - they have no incentive to want to be a daddy to yours.
• Answer 3: You can simply be an anonymous recipient. Don't tell me your name/identity. Just like the state can't sue me for child support if you don't know who I am, I can't sue you for parental rights if I don't know who you are.
• Answer 4: Complete a second-parent adoption. Once complete, you're 100% immune.

• Challenge: We need to see STD test results.
• Answer: I can show semi-anonymized version of my STD test results, with partial name hidden but still clearly mine (and my matching driver's license with partial name hidden). 

• Challenge: I need them for my wife/gf/partner to do a second-parent adoption.
• Answer: No you don't. Just don't put the donor as a father on birth certificate (or better yet, right away put your significant other on it, if your state allows that) - this will make adoption very simple. Every state has a process for 2PA that doesn't require contract from the sperm contributor.

• Challenge: I need to see full medical exam results and medical history from your doctor.
• Answer: See STD answer. My first+last name are unique enough that you can be sure the any semi-anonymized documents match my drivers' license, but don't reveal my full name.

And, for fun, from http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/frog-prince